Empowerment Project--An Offer of Support

Photo credit: Mike Stenhouse

I've been thinking about how to broaden this Empowerment Project.  I love posting artistic contributions, like the glowing examples in the EP archives, but submissions aren't always brimming in my inbox. :) There has to be something else I can offer.

After being lucky enough to meet with a couple of therapy groups for survivors, I've realized that one of the best things I can provide is hope. And I'm qualified to provide that for the simple reason that I'm an example of someone living a happy life after being raped.

There are few things that can make a person feel more alone than surviving rape. Whether or not you tell people it happened, it's lonely. Whether or not they support you, it's lonely. Your relationships change--they can't help but change.  And it's hard to see that the aftermath won't always be your whole life.

When the aftermath was my life, I didn't know anyone who had gone through the same thing. Nobody who talked about it, anyway. I had nobody to ask questions. No positive examples to look to for hope that there might still be happiness for me, someday. It  all felt so impossible, sometimes.

I don't want it to feel that way for anyone else, if I can help it.

I want every survivor to know that everything is possible for you. Yes, YOU. You can have, be and accomplish anything you dream of.

I believe in being honest and open about what happened to me. I didn't always make the best choices on my road to recovery, but I'm here in one piece, with a wonderful family and friends, and I'm proud of the good choices I did make. If you have questions for me, I'd love to answer them here on my website so others might read them as well.

Just email alinabklein@gmail.com if there's anything I can help with.**  I will keep all names anonymous, unless you request otherwise.

We'll play this by ear and see if this is a viable way to add depth and further support to the Empowerment Project. I'd love to hear what you think.

**Please note: responses will be based on personal experience. I am not a licensed therapist or anything close to one. Therapy can offer you something else entirely and I urge you to consider it if you haven't already. My job, as I see it, is simply to relate because I can. We're all different, yet so many things are universal. You aren't alone.

Empowerment Project--Original Piano Composition "Masking the Pain"

I'm thrilled to share with all of you, seventeen-year-old composer, Accalia Murray's, original song: "Masking the Pain".



Isn't she talented?  Music composition is a complete mystery to me. I'm awed by this.

Here's what Accalia had to say about her emotional composition:

"Every time you try to hide the pain, it returns in bursts and eats you alive. I would know. Facing it is the only thing you can do. Face your fears, your pain, your sorrow, and then move on. Become healthy again."

Thank you for letting me share your incredible talent and insight on my blog, Accalia!

Now, everyone, please head over to Accalia's YouTube channel to enjoy more of her original pieces! I'm sure she'd appreciate you subscribing and spreading the word if you like what you've heard. :)



Also, if you need an extra dose of kindness in your life, please head over to the new dedicated blog for  The Kindness Project. We all need more kindness in our blogrolls, don't we?


Have a Happy Thanksgiving, USA!

Empowerment Project--Sweet Dreams

I have another dreamy piece of artwork to share with all of you. This is from Star, the same talented artist who gave us Butterflies in Belize. And a new contributor, Frieda, supplied the uplifting poem inscribed upon it (and reprinted here, below).

Hang on to the stars, hang onto that hope

hurricanes will try to break your spirit 

swing from the sky with sheer delight

up high on the moon, next to a constellation

let your problems vanish into thin air

remember when you were a kid

you kicked and pumped to make it go

never stop kicking, never give up the stars never let go, 

swing to your heart's content

                                                  --Frieda

Hurricane Sandy, bearing down on the coast right now, makes this post even more universal.  Here's to starry skies for all and swinging underneath them with our loved ones.  Sending safe wishes to anyone in the path of the storm, and hugs to everyone out there reading. 

Thanks Star and Frieda, for letting me share your fantastic collaboration!

**If this Empowerment Project post made you smile, think, cheer or tear, please let these amazing contributors know! It's always appreciated.

Empowerment Project--Blog Spotlight

I wanted to share a new site I was introduced to by a friend.  It's called Finding Sunlight and it was started by a young writer named Natalia, to focus on and support survivors of IPSA (Intimate Partner Sexual Assault) which it does, admirably. Her blog, which is part of the site, focuses on IPSA as well as broader survivor issues, and is incredibly insightful, thoughtful and supportive. Go check it out and see for yourself! It is well worth following.

Empowerment Project--The Pond

The Pond

By Michael Joseph Kullik

As I sit by the pond

and watch dragonflies fly by

and frogs call to each other

I notice how the rest of the world

does not touch my sense of being

I am in a world all my own

Just me and the living creatures

sitting by the pond just being

quiet and watching life as it happens

The pond creates a beautiful world to be in

when the rest of the world is too hard for me

The dragonflies fly by with grace and speed

Water is what most are made of and here I am

In a place where the pond provides life

and peace for me and the living creatures

Photo courtesy of Wokka--CCL Flickr

Today isn't Monday, I know, but sometimes you've gotta have a little wiggle-room when it comes to sharing uplifting things, don't you think?  

Michael, this poem is gorgeous and  peaceful. Things have been hectic for me, lately, and reading this soothes me. I know I'll come back to it when I need a calming thought, or am feeling sad, to remind me to look for peace in nature.

Thanks for letting me share it and for being incredibly brave and inspiring.

Empowerment Project--Dream

The Empowerment Project has been away too long, but here is a burst of beauty to get us back on track.

This is only one of many gorgeous, layered pieces by Crystal. I love how her work draws you in and makes you want to dig deeper, and the colors in this are perfect for the seasaon we're entering, don't you think? The dreaminess of the composition pairs provocatively with the thoughtfulness of the pose, telling a story with just one word: Dream.

I'm inspired.

Thank you so much for letting me share your amazing work, Crystal!

Empowerment Project--Dare I?

Dare to wish on a star

when all hope is lost.

Dare to trust another human being

when you've only ever been let down.

Dare to be yourself

when you don't recognise her in a mirror.

Dare to dream

when you only know nightmares.

Dare to hope

when despair never changed for you.

Dare to be heard

when silence was your prison.

Dare to love

when you've been betrayed.

Dare to be

When the pain is too much.

Dare to be brave.

--written by Adelaid



I get goosebumps every time I read this. Do you have goosebumps?  Thanks so much for letting me share your inspiring poem, Adelaid!

Empowerment Project--Concrete Giants

This artwork and accompanying poem are by *Willow.

 

Hovering tall above me

All around me

Concrete giants

Providing shadows for the scum

I can still feel the sun

As it rises above the rooftops

Healing my broken soul

And making it whole

Chasing away the monsters

And dangers

Providing safety with it's light

And destroying the night

And the hearts that don't beat

The ones that don't sleep

The damaged, the dying

Their tears are now drying  

I'm drying my own tears, now. Thanks so much Willow for sharing her inspiring and beautiful work!

(*alias used to protect the artist's privacy)

Empowerment Project--Breaking the Chains of Silence

This picture was created by Angel and it speaks so well for itself, in a concrete way, doesn't it?

I love the image of the butterflies fluttering up from the break in the chain which, once it falls away will, perhaps, reveal the face of the no longer silent.

It's wonderful and evocative, don't you think?  Thanks so much to Angel for allowing me to share this powerful piece!

Empowerment Project--Butterflies in Belize

This gorgeous piece of artwork was created by Star.

Click to enlarge

Isn't it lovely?  I want to hang it on my wall.

The wording on the image says:

"just when the caterpillar
thought the world was over
it became a butterfly'

'beautiful and graceful
varied and enchanting
small but approachable
butterflies lead you
to the sunny side of life
everyone deserves a little
sunshine"


Butterflies are high on my list of favorite creatures and they are a fantastic metaphor for overcoming trauma, and finding happiness. I'm so grateful to Star for sharing her talent and positive message with us.  I know I'm smiling!

Thanks, Star!

Empowerment Project--Enjoy The Small Things

Enjoy the Small Things

Love the life you live in for other people are loving it too
Sing what you want to sing scream if it makes you content
Don't spend life living bent on what people think or say
It doesn't matter so never let it ruin your day
Hold your head up high you are who you want to be
Follow the life you want to live in whatever makes you happy
You are your own self unique and beautiful in every way
Sing even though you can't
Dance even though you look silly
Smile maybe others will smile too
 Live life simply because you are you
Enjoy the small things in life
Like the smell of crayons
Maybe the bakery air
When you push the button for the elevator and it's already there
The smell of rain on a hot summer day
Reading the nutrition label and eating it anyway
When your watching one of your favorite movies and realizing you don't remember the end
Opening a taped up box with a set of keys or even a pen
Falling asleep in the backseat of a car late at night on the drive home
When you hear someone dear to you smile over the phone
Remembering what movie that guy is from
When the vending machine gives you two things instead of one
Don't dwell on sadness or what should've been
Think of the joy the small things bring instead
love the life you live and find yourself laughing
Don't walk through life with hope long dead
Be content and happy with the small things in your head


This poem was written by Kristi, who is seventeen-years-old and already in touch with what really matters in life. How brilliant is she to pause and appreciate things like "The smell of crayons" and "Remembering what movie that guy is from". These lines and many more made me smile so hard my cheeks hurt.

Thanks, Kristi, for allowing me to share your sweet and insightful poem!

Empowerment Project--Keep Writing!

photo credit: Jason Kessinich  (www.aepoc.com)

Two things, both incredibly important to me, are sharing the national spotlight this month. April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and National Poetry Month. I find this less than coincidental--even if it didn't happen by design--because writing poetry, more than anything else, helped me find my way through the emotional tangles I faced as a teen rape-survivor.

This poem, written when I was sixteen, made it into my novel, RAPE GIRL:

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Floating on blackness

Can’t feel the pain

The tears fall unheeded

The splash of the rain

Enveloping nothing

It gathers me in

The sweet dark embrace

Bringing peace from within

Frozen in silence

Adrift on the swell

Detached from my body

Not living the hell

Deep down inside me

I’m curled in a ball

Where no one can find me

I’m safe from it all

“No” wasn’t enough

He did not seem to hear

So I’ll stay where it’s safe

Far away from the fear

This past Friday I had the pleasure of hearing dozens of students from Calumet New Tech High School in Gary, Indiana, recite their own, original poetry during my school-visit there.  I was blown away, not only by their talent and fearlessness, but also by their enthusiastic cheering for each other. It was a spectacular thing.  Many of their poems were filled with painful, gut-wrenching truths from their own lives.  It's no wonder they were supportive of me and my book, they know hardship firsthand.

I applauded each of them that day and I want to applaud them again, now. I hope they continue to use poetry to share their feelings and difficulties in a productive and meaningful way, and even more, I hope they keep lifting each other up and rooting for each other like they did on Friday.

I know I left Calumet feeling empowered by their unflinching support of my soon-to-be-published novel and I hope this story of my poem, written as a teen, and published as part of that same novel, will empower them in return.

Keep writing! You never know where your words will take you.

Empowerment Project--Love Your Body

Today's entry is from a friend who prefers to be called "Penguin".  Penguin has a blog where she posts amazing artwork as part of her therapy process. There are some lovely pieces over there so be sure to check it out!  Here are a few of my empowering favorites:

Love Your Body

Hope

Free

I love each of these messages, and find the first particularly compelling. So often trauma and eating disorders walk hand-in-hand and the list of services food fuels our bodies to provide are a brilliant reminder to anyone struggling with that beast.  All three images are beautiful and inspiring, aren't they?  Big hugs and thanks, Penguin, for letting me share your amazing artwork!

Empowerment Project--Men Were Scary

 

Men were scary. Everything about them made my case
I'd looked upon eyes of hatred
Lost when violent limbs found a place

The male form once etched into stone's of glory
Repulsed and terrified
A long forgotten, sad story

Defiant, one day
To reclaim the sight
Clutched one pen without delay
Etched the male form in all its glory

This poem, and accompanying artwork, were created by someone I greatly admire. Tara Shennan, a supportive friend of my lunatic fringe, has her own project for survivors called Join the Fight Back. Please check it out and be inspired by the brave contributions.

I found Tara's poem raw and painful, but at the same time awe-inspiring.  Thanks so much for this wonderful contribution, Tara!

Empowerment Project--This Smile's a Mask

The following poem is by Arielle.  I think this is one that everyone can relate to on some level. So beautifully stated.





This Smile's a Mask

This smile’s a mask
To cover the
Splinters of my heart

Shards of fear and pain
Define me now
Run so deep
My bones are filled with it

Distorted reflections of myself
Are reality now
Never ending judgement
Turns me against myself

I fake so much
Pretend the ugliness
Doesn't exist
Doesn't burrow deeper everyday

A parasite lives in me
Everyone would turn away if they could see
So I built walls
Closed off my heart

Masks I wear
A safety net
Against the cruel world
Against the tsunami inside me

So alone, adrift in silence
Words bursting to rush out
Stifled, locked away
I want to scream them all

Suddenly, a hand slides into mine
Breaks through all my barriers
Guides me to warmth
Sees all the darkest parts of me
Shows me the light
Bright and strong

It hurts
It heals

A flood of tears
Pieces of me slowly
Finding their way
Back together

This parasite so strong
Was weak after all
Truth destroying distorted perceptions
Of reality, of myself

My reflection’s clear
Bright and hopeful
For the first time
My smile’s not a mask



I feel a lump in my throat again, re-reading that. In our exchanges about the poem, Arielle said the following and I asked to share it with you:

"This poem kind of spilled out of me a couple days ago while I was laying in bed (I always get inspired right before I want to go to sleep, of course) and I had to type it out on my iPod. I usually write darker stuff but this time I wanted to show the light at the end of tunnel, that healing can happen, that healing hurts sometimes but it's worth it. After awhile it's like the mask takes over who you are, and you forget that there's something wonderful underneath, just waiting to shine again. It's hard to describe everything I wanted to express through my poem but I guess it's really kind of the journey I went through, and that I'm still going through"

We're all at various stages of that journey, aren't we? And the writers (and other creative types) here can all relate to the random grip of inspiration when your drifting off to sleep, I'm sure. 

Arielle also let me know that she's been inspired to try to put together "a book for survivors by survivors", similar to the Empowerment Project, as a way to help others.  I'd love to see that happen! For now she is focusing on school and just mulling it over, which makes me very proud. :)

Thank you so much for sharing your evocative and wonderful poem with me and with the world, Arielle!

Empowerment Project--Quiet Things

Today, after a weekend spent outside in gorgeous weather,  I felt inspired to share one of my own great sources of empowerment. (I hope you lovely people, with amazing submissions in the queue, won't mind!)

Three years ago I reclaimed this area of our yard from weeds, stumps, and poison ivy. I hacked everything down then solarized the soil with clear plastic for several weeks to kill the roots and seeds, until, finally, it looked like this:

When it was ready, Pat and I moved a playhouse in beside the tree, then we dug a large hole nearby. All of the excavated dirt was transferred to the other side of the tree, and packed into a curved mound to create a caterpillar we could walk on.

A few days later I unloaded (all by myself, with a shovel!) a full truck-load of pea-gravel into the hole we'd dug. Then I topped it off with a fun Craigslist find. :)

Next, I put in a narrow brick pathway, beside the cottage and behind the tree.




















And then my oldest son helped me plant seeds for his own teeny vegetable garden.


 














Finally, I relocated some unused stepping stones I'd discovered in a corner of our yard (left by the previous owners) and made a curving walkway to the front door of the little cottage. I framed it all with a garden arch I found at an antique store and planted beside it a sweet autumn clematis that was a gift from my mother-in-law. Here is the result:

In the time since these pictures were taken I've added various other things. I planted perennials, added a little woven-willow fence to curve around in front of the cottage, and made a small bench, from cement blocks and a slab of bluestone for sitting beside the construction zone. This weekend as I was out there pulling the weeds that always threaten to creep back in and reclaim what I've rightfully tamed, I looked around at what I'd accomplished and felt empowered again.

Empowerment can certainly stem from facing our fears, fighting back, and standing loud and proud against a fickle and judgmental world, but it can also originate in quieter things. Things like accomplishing a goal we've set, or putting ourselves out there to make a new friend, or attempting something we've always wished we could do.  And, yes, it can also mean getting our hands in the dirt and shoving things around until they look the way we like them to!

Do you agree with me? What are the quiet things that empower you?